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Planning a wedding is difficult. Planning a wedding while gay is even more difficult. Planning a wedding while gay in a global pandemic is bordering the impossible.

This started before our engagement in June of 2020. Sent out preliminary text message to ensure potential bridal party would be supportive theologically. Something like: Hey! i am reaching out to ensure you are comfortable being involved moving forward. Theological convictions may prevent some friends from being involved in fully affirming our relationship and union. Love you! (Have any straight couples had to do this lately?)

What about asking around to ensure the…


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My first counseling appointment for unpacking my time thus far at a graduate school that didn’t accept my identity was January 8th, 2017. I know this because I journaled about it. I had heard of not one, but two, LGBTQ+ students who had thrown themselves on the train tracks behind my graduate school, one as recently as 2006. At first, I could not imagine feeling so desperate to escape a wonderfully tight-knit Christian community. After I began to hear stories, it started to make more sense.

From [school]’s website on statement of faith: By contrast, Scripture condemns the following…sexual immorality…


I recently was asked to share my testimony this past Sunday, the first time I have publicly shared what God is doing in my life since moving to the Chicagoland area. Here is what I said.

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God is doing so many incredible things in my life and has always been doing so many incredible things in my life, but today I want to focus on one particular aspect of who I am and why I am standing up here today. I became a Christian at age 7. I was fully dunked, so I was fully saved. I grew up in…


How do you get the occasional cup of coffee knowing you have student loans? How do you take a vacation knowing the responsible thing is to stay home and save?

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If you know me, you know most think of me as pretty darn cheap. I someone who dreads spending money — and ALWAYS have. Just ask my mom…as a kid at the grocery store, I would hide and plug my ears so I wouldn’t hear the totals. Fast forward all these years later, I am slowly (and surely) learning how to become more comfortable spending money. I no longer plug…


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I originally blogged Part I of a continual story on March 5th (https://medium.com/@jjordanl/gay-evangelical-christian-and-sometimes-afraid-3538e52f68e0). Thank you to everyone who has reached out with encouragement. I have received upwards of twenty, “This is my story, too,” messages. My hope in every step of the journey has been that even one fellow believer would be encouraged.

Being afraid to go to church is not something I had experienced until recently. As someone who has identified as a heterosexual white woman my whole life, I have walked confidently into youth group spaces, mission trips, and Wednesday night prayer meetings my whole life. …


A Devotional By My 84-Year-Old Grandmother

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My grandmother wrote the following for a devotional in front of the deacons at our Southern Baptist church. She is 84 years old and exemplifies the love of Christ better than just about anyone I know. I asked her if I could share her words with the world in hopes that it could encourage people of all ages in all theological spaces.

This is the year of “Spiritual Awakening”, and I’m excited, as I know you are, to see what God is going to do if we’ll let him. …


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I have been compiling a list of resources over the past two years in trying to reconcile faith and sexuality. Lots of people have reached out over the past few weeks for recommendations, so I figured I would make a post with a small sampling of books, podcasts, articles, and film I have found helpful over the course of the journey.

BOOKS:

· Does God Really Love Me?: Jeff Chu

· God and the Gay Christian: Matthew Vines

· Torn: Justin Lee

· Searching for Sunday, Inspired: Rachel Held Evans

· Building a Bigger Table: John Pavlovitz

· Love is an…


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I entered into Evangelical higher education at the age of 17. I went to a small, Baptist school in Alabama. I joined a sorority. On paper, I should have hated it. I absolutely loved it. I had never, ever thought of myself as anything but straight. Growing up, I had friends who identified as LGBTQ+ and I walked with them through some incredibly hard seasons of isolation. I was always an advocate and an ally, but never truly sat with questions of my own sexual identity.

It was too scary to turn the advocacy inward, to allow the allyship to…

Julia

Raised Southern Baptist. Writing about faith & sexuality.

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